just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
