oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
