All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
