Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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