He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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