Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
