Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
