Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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