I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
