there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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