in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
