i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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