i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
