How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
