Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
