thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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