dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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