I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
