Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
