I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize