Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
zippers are such a cool invention
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
