If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
