He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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