Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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