i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
