I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
