I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
another moral hangover. fuck.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
