Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.

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(253): View more from Washington

Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.

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(313): View more from Michigan

operation harelip BJ is a go

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(408): View more from California

Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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(813): View more from Florida

We shouldn"t be alone together

(606): View more from Kentucky

you didn"t say that yesterday

(813): View more from Florida

you weren't married yesterday

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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(718): View more from New York

this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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(410): View more from Maryland

Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good

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