just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
