i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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