That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
