You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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