apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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