There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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