I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
