Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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