Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
