Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
