smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
