this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
