I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize