can u get pink eye on your cock?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
