maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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