we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
