so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
