Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize