Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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