I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
