Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
