I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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