I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
