so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
