I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
