were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
