I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
