bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
my god I love twenty year old dicks
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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