Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
