Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
