Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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