You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
