I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
