I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
