I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize