a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
