i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize