hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
