He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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