Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
