no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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