Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sobbing to NWA
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